Do you ever go through those moments where you feel like the world is crashing down on you? Do you catch yourself riding the emotional roller coaster from hell? What about getting sick and tired of you not fully committing to creating the life you want? Yes of course you do, and so did I.
I have been there. And I even found myself seriously doubting whether or not what I’m doing in my life is good enough. I have felt alone, unsupported and wanting to give up on my dreams because it is so damn hard to keep going. And in those moments, I have found myself walking into my house, closing the door behind me and crying, because the loneliness, fears and confusion was just too much. And then there were moments when I had hope, I felt on track, things were good…and then everything went crashing down again.
I felt like giving up, felt very sorry for myself and many times went down the unhealthy path to escape from my sorrow (maybe even desperation). It could have been sex, drugs, alcohol, shopping, unhealthy foods… whatever! Take your pick, we all have our weaknesses. Life has ups and downs and if you think it should always be positive, glorious and fun, I’ve got news for you. The only person you are fooling is yourself!
Life is a mix of dark and light, peace and war, life and death and yes… pain and pleasure. The goal is not be happy and feel pleasure at all times, but more to be balanced between happiness and sadness. And in that balance, is where you get the real taste of what life is about. As Dr. John Demartini would say “When you know that bad things aren’t so terrible and good things aren’t so terrific, you can be quietly grateful for whatever occurs. Balance is neither pessimism nor optimism.”
― John F. Demartini, The Breakthrough Experience: A Revolutionary New Approach to Personal Transformation
But yes, I know, fun is… FUN and pleasure is addictive. Many people think life should always be positive and fun, and then these same people find themselves fighting depression (the emotional roller coaster from hell). According to Global Depression Statistics, July 2011, depression affected over 121 million people worldwide! And now in 2023, 280 million people have depression.
Let’s stop living in fantasy folks, let’s use our challenges as a springboard to personal transformation and get a grip on our life!
Balanced and healthy individuals use the following techniques to be able to cope with life stresses, the “end of my rope” type of feeling, depression and unexpected challenges. Pick your top three and apply them consistently.
Cry if you need too! When angry, beat up a punching bag like there’s no tomorrow! Feel your emotions, but don’t get caught in victim consciousness. Apply the 90 seconds rule by Dr. Jill Bolte to have greater ability to manage your emotions.
Connect with nature, the earth and your body to calm your mind and your nervous system. An overthinking mind needs to calm down and be balanced for you to function at your best. Actually, the energy of the mind needs to come down and flow through the body in order for you to be present and objective. Grounding or Earthing is an amazing technique to release negative charges or stagnant energy activated by unbalanced perspectives and charged up emotions.
In your challenging moments, ask yourself “What is this challenge telling me about what I need to do?” “What am I learning about myself?” Write it down and remember to do this whenever you feel stuck.
Ask for help! Talk to someone impartial who can just hear you out. Talking out loud with someone can help you find clarity and help you detach from the drama. Avoid complaining about your situation and if you need to vent, apply the 90 seconds rule from #1.
Be grateful for the challenges as they are the ones that help you grow. Gratitude contributes towards your ability to bounce back quickly and uplifts your energy frequency.
As Dr. John Demartini would say, identify 20-50 benefits of you being in the situation you are in. See the good in the bad, to balance your perception.
Commit to action, no matter how small or big the action is. Do what you need to do to improve your situation (see #3).
The moments that have the greatest significance and impact on our lives, are often the difficult moments we face, experience and overcome. Don’t let the down moments rule your life and don’t expect life to be positive and high all of the time. You deserve to enjoy life as it is and don’t need to suffer. Learn to be grateful for all that happens in your life and yes that includes the pain.
If you’re tired of doing this alone or know about the techniques above but have a hard time implementing them, let's connect and see if working together might be a right fit. Email me today at julie@juliericher.com.