As I was preparing for a meeting yesterday, I went to double check some wording on the “school board page” of my new website and then a thought just showed up in my brain, which was “holy geez girl, this is a definite accomplishment for 2023”! That’s when I realized that I used to NOT validate myself enough, and as a go-getter, I would focus more on my shortcomings and what I still had to accomplish instead of my victories and all of the work I did that got me where I am.
Is your head programmed like mine used to be? Do you tend to want to improve and fix yourself more than recognize what you’ve done and be content with what you have and where you are? It’s a fine dance I say. I think having a dose of self-awareness as to where you are on your aspiration path is necessary. I also think it’s great to have goals to accomplish and aspirations to aim for but not to the point of continuously striving without taking stock of the effort and advancement that got you to where you are.
This article will answer three important things for you:
To help identify if you’re stuck with a negative self-perception
To give you ideas to shift the negative self-perception
To invite you to my latest virtual workshop "Review 2023 to Soar in 2024," where you will be able to acknowledge your victories and lessons in 2023 and to consciously prep for your 2024
Let’s start with these questions:
Are you dissatisfied with where you are in life?
Do you see what’s left to do and wish you could do more?
Do you have a subtle but lingering negative outlook on yourself?
Personally I’ve come to realize that my “dissatisfied” overview of myself and my life is partly because that’s how my mind has learned to interpret things. I know for a fact that most of us are not wired like this at birth, but that childhood trauma can indeed create a negative self-perception and more, tinting our happiness factor and level of satisfaction. Ugh!
The great news is, self-awareness around this way of thinking is HUGE! Being aware of our regular subconscious thinking helps us catch it and motivates us to change it. You want to feel better right? There is no need for continuous self-blame; however, there is some effort required to change this way of thinking.
Here are some suggestions to help change the negative self talk cycle:
When catching yourself in a negative thought, consciously change it to gratitude. Neuroplasticity is possible and we can rewire our negative thinking to a more positive perspective. Catch the negative thought and change it, and if you do this often enough, you get the opportunity to rewire new thinking patterns.
For example: Negative thought - “I haven’t found another new school board to work with”.
Grateful thought - "I’ve created a bilingual program, I delivered it to a school board, I received incredible feedback. I learned tons, I created bilingual web pages for the program, I did two videos and posted them on Youtube. I worked with wonderful people, and I’ll be building a Train-the-Trainer Program.” Once you change your thoughts to gratitude, this instantly changes your mood, releasing dopamine and serotonin in your brain (feel good hormones).
Meditate for greater mindfulness. Meditation helps create space between the 60,000 thoughts we have on the daily. Meditation helps us be more mindful, where we can catch negative thinking patterns, emotions and even sometimes help discover their source. While aware of our negative thinking or negative feelings, we can then make efforts to change our situation instead of becoming trapped in a victim mentality (an unhealthy learned coping mechanism).
Practice moving mediation like Qigong. I’ve been practicing meditation on and off for the last 25 years and finally, I have found the best meditation ever for myself! Looks like this girl needed moving meditation and I found it through Qigong. Through Qigong, my mind takes a frickin’ break and not only does it calm my mind, it gives a chance for my nervous system to reset and lowers the buzzing anxiety in my body. All of this gives me much greater awareness and control over my thinking patterns and the bonus, it helps me heal past wounds and achieve greater awareness, health and vitality.
Gratitude list every evening. There are so many benefits to doing a gratitude list daily, like having a better mood, optimism for the future, and greater immunity. Doing a gratitude list in the evening has proven to help have a better night’s sleep. This is so simple. Get yourself a journal book, leave it at the bedside table and when you crawl into bed, take 2-3 mins and note what you are grateful for from your day and why. For people with a negative mindset, you will see a shift in your mood BIG TIME after only a few days doing this exercise. Do it much longer to discover the positive changes the gratitude list brings to your life! Game changer!
Do you want to practice gratitude and identify all the great stuff you did and will do? How about acknowledging your victories and lessons in 2023 to soar in 2024? The timing right now is perfect for you to practice changing any negative thinking to gratitude and hopeful thoughts. Doing a year review and preparing for 2024 can help clear the past, can create motivation, and helps you feel hopeful moving forward. Doing a year review ensures you don’t repeat whatever ‘mistakes’ you’ve made, it helps you practice self-integrity, sets you up for success and so much more!
Comments